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Working the Steps?

Hello and welcome to The Path Forward. My name is Goldie and I am the forum's lead moderator. I am available to assist you with the 6 Steps of recovery from a relationship with a Narcissist. This process is often painful and many are left with unanswered questions and a sense of "What just hit me?" "How can I be feeling this badly when I was "so loved" in the beginning?" and "How can I get my life back on track and recover from this confusing, painful ordeal?"

You must remember you have done nothing wrong, but believe in the good nature of another person. Unfortunately, this person has shown their true colors and you are now left with many questions. This section of the forum is devoted to answering your questions because we know you have many.

Here we will talk about what it means to be "Working the Steps" and the different recovery tools we find helpful in healing from a relationship with a Narcissist. Allowing yourself to process and feel your emotions through creative outlets as well as writing your "Goodbye Letter" are important aspects of the 6 Step Recovery process we believe with help you on the path forward. Please post your questions here and I will respond. Many of the questions which you have will also be helpful to other members. We are glad you found our community of support and can assure you that being here is the first step on the Path Forward.

Members, submit your question to Goldie!

Dealing with Narc in Mediation

Jennifer mcBride's picture
Submitted by Jennifer mcBride on Mar 13 - 5PM

I've been divorced for over two years. We are going to mediation next week because we need to sort out some money and communication issues. I'm bringing an attorney; he is not. He is adamant that he won't use an online communication tool (Our Family Wizard) and won't change how we pay expenses. He wants to compel me to meet with him in person and on the telephone. He wants as much contact as he can get with me.

How can I refuse any contact I don't feel comfortable with without the mediator thinking I won't work with him? I would LOVE no contact, absolutely love it, but I don't know how to work that when we have three busy kids. Last week I had five days with no calls or emails. It was heaven. Then they started in again today. My hands were shaking so badly I could hardly type.

Is really a Narcissist?

Loveyy09's picture
Submitted by Loveyy09 on Mar 13 - 3PM

I start off totally agreeing that his behavior's are that in fact a Narcissit but then my mind switches because either I feel bad, he will get better and a different girl will recieve the love I thrived for, or one tiny description of this narcissistic image does totally describe him. I want to know exactly how I am supposed to know he is...maybe you can help me with this. Please.

The Path Forward

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Feb 23 - 3PM

Hi, I've tried to buy a hard copy of this book but all that seems available is e reader. I did order "It's all about him" from B&N in paperback. Is there hard copy available of the other one also? TUVM

Can he ever get better?

davskiss's picture
Submitted by davskiss on Feb 20 - 11PM

Hi Goldie,
Can he ever get better? He seems so convincing with his words. He talks for about 2 hours each night. He won’t let me sleep, think, eat or even take a bath or shower without invading my personal space and trying to convince me that he is a changed person. I told him that I'm leaving him and he seems like he is hurt, and desperate to get me to stay. He sure knows how to make me think he is getting better "through" GOD. Is this typical, he seems so normal??....my head is spinning.

Davia

Will ex-n show up for therapy to fix his relationship with my son?

Emmy2002's picture
Submitted by Emmy2002 on Feb 14 - 9PM

I have a question about my ex-N. He was told by the courts he cannot have visitation with our son for 6 months till he goes for therapy. The courts also told him HE is to go for the therapy & if/when our son is wanting to see him the therapist will let the courts know.(My son is in counseling due to his father. ) Then they will start to have sessions together. Well the ex-N being the way he is made an appointment with the clinic & told them he has a session with his son & therapist.

Is he different?

Dizzy2's picture
Submitted by Dizzy2 on Feb 2 - 1PM

He told me he had narcissistic tendencies.

I called him out after 3 months of the roller coaster. He said he was diagnosed bipolar 2 yers ago and was going to get help because he wanted to stop treating poeple like sh**.

He went to a therapist who told him he wasn't bipolar he was depressed and had narcissistic tendencies. He just told me this before Christmas. I didn't know what it meant. He said he liked this guy because the therapist said he wasn't going to sugar coat anything.

Difference between a smart narc and a not-so-smart narc?

narcfreeinms's picture
Submitted by narcfreeinms on Feb 2 - 8AM

Is there a noticeable difference between a smart narc and a no-so-smart narc? Would it be in how they cover their tracks, not think about how they might get caught on Facebook, etc.? OR do all narcs (smart and dumb) not care whether they get caught because they're so self-absorbed to care? Just curious if there are levels of being a smart or dumb narc...