Struggling with NC? A powerful observation...
Struggling with NC? A powerful observation...
A powerful observation from new member cassia, who posted this in a conversation with another member a few days back.
“Some people never get out. My stepmother (my father is a virulent N) never got out. She now looks, and acts, like she was just recently exhumed. Staying with a N will do that to you....”
---cassia
*******************
As one who had this same look about her for almost six years, the poignancy and truth of cassia’s observation hit home.
Each day that goes by we are inching toward the aging process, whether we like it or not. We moan about all we’ve sacrificed for the disordered one, and along with the graveyard-dead feeling, we sacrifice our appearance, our glow, our spark, our unique beauty every minute we stay in the dance.
This is what the world sees. This is what we become if we stay. Exhumed. Perfect strangers, business acquaintances frequenlty asked me if I was okay. By the time it was almost over, the reflection I saw in the mirror was that of an old woman; beaten down, weak. Pasty. Ghostly. Disconnected. Half-dead.
As we speak there are members struggling with the decision to go no contact. Struggling to block; to delete; to de-activate FB, to retire from the dance floor.
If you want to sacrifice more time, more energy, more of what’s left of yourself and your sanity, keep the lines open. The masked man/woman fantasy that you’re clinging to will take what’s left, grind it down some more, bury you, and exhume you again. They are vultures, who feast on the carnage and then pick at the bones.
Love,
(not) spinning. BECAUSE I'M ON THE PATH FORWARD NOW AND ALWAYS
Just ask cassia...
LOL to tears...
I to feel older and I don't
When I first got here I was
IFT
Exactly!
YES! My narc liked me because
I also forgot to mention he
Bumping to remind all
spinning
Spinning....true
Aceonelady
Dead Women, Stress & Wrinkles
"That MOTHER F#CKER!!" LMAO!
Gray hair and laughing at you Grace
Short short line Jenna
short short line
dead woman walking
I am WAY TO GOOD and SPECIAL
YES NLB!!! YOU ARE FIRED UP!
NICE Juliacatherine!!!
Hey Jenna :)
so true
that 'shell-shocked' look
So very true
So right you are
a very sick year
more sick
interesting thread
YES!
sickness
sickness
they are a disease in more ways than one