Ready to start dating again, how to avoid another narc?

I've been NC for almost 3 years and spent one of those years in therapy. I'm finally ready to start dating again and have met some men who are interested but now I seem to see red flags everywhere. Is this good or am I being hypervigilant?

One man in particular who used to be a coworker seems very interested. He and I were "work buddies" because we have many interests in common. He was recently divorced and in a new relationship so it was just friendship between us. Then he broke up with his "rebound" girlfriend and made it clear he wanted us to get closer.

He is tall dark and handsome, and I feel very at ease chatting with him. Yes, there is sexual chemistry there too though I've never acted on it. I have kept the relationship platonic.

Since we started as friends he has been comfortable telling me his woes regarding ex wife and ex rebound girlfriend. Example, his ex wife arranged an "intervention" to tell him he was an emotionally abusive alcoholic. Red flag? or was his ex wife a narcissist projecting her issues on to him? He also complained that his ex girlfriend was too jealous and wouldn't tolerate him having a drink with a female friend after work. This also seemed like a red flag to me, because I think I would get upset if my boyfriend was asking female coworkers out for a drink after work.

So I've kept him at arms length, enjoying his company as a friend only. Now it's Christmas and I am without a partner for New Year's Eve parties. I reached out to him with holiday greetings, he responded enthusiastically and I'm wondering if I've been too judgemental.

I'm in my mid 50s so it's not like men are beating a path to my door. Should I lighten up? Or continue in hypervigilant loneliness?

Thanks for all you do Lisa!