need some feedback please

This site has been so helpful to me. I read here all the time- I havent posted my story yet because I have been too sad to face it. But I have a question about "hoovering".
My ex literally walked out of my house and never looked back about 50 days ago after an abrupt, devastating, degrading and tumultuous discard of me and our relationship. He had the audacity to walk right into my house 4 days ago. No phone call, didnt even knock - just walked right in (I accidentally left the front door open after going outside for a cigarette). Long story short, after feeling like I was beginning to turn the corner and get a small piece of myself back, I allowed myself to be sucked into a 4 hour discussion with him. He told me he loved me but in the same breath told me how sick I am and how much help I need so on and so forth fill in the blanks with anything your ex N may have said to you. You know how it goes. While I know none of those things about me are true, I am feeling disgusted with myself today and so angry because following his invasive visit of me I engaged in a two day text war with him. I was doing so good with the no contact and trying to keep my dignity and not sink to his level but I was SO ANGRY and felt so VIOLATED by him and now I just feel so lousy. I just feel awful and so immature. Is this really how adults act? I try to tell myself that I am only human, that I had no way of knowing he was coming here and I never would have initiated contact with him again. I had all this repressed anger and I feel like I became the person he always told me I was a psycho, unstable etc. But I feel like I just got ambushed. Also he kept saying how much he loved me and my daughter and that he wanted to see us the next day. I said no because I never want her to get hurt and because I know it will never change. I am so MAD that it will never change and I hate myself for still loving him but he also brings up an anger and sadness in me that is so intense and so unhealthy for me. I guess I just want some feedback because I am feeling crazy and just so upset. After major heartache and depression and forcing myself to function I felt like I was finally getting myself back on track and now this. Help. I hate that he is still in my head so much. Why do they want to hurt us I don't get it, I just dont get it.