as the years have gone by

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#1 Aug 21 - 4PM
toomuch
toomuch's picture

as the years have gone by

I remember thinking I would never be the same in my soul again … and to some degree this is a true statement I will not. I will never be taken in by the scum of the earth portraying themselves to be your soulmate lol… the interesting thing for me is there is the odd day or days when he comes to mind very strongly .. usually if I am alone or feeling lonely - but I am grateful that those days are not everyday all day as it was in the beginning. I am enjoying my family and friends and trying to keep busy and happy in "MY" real world .. not the " fantasy" world that I had missed so much…. as I read the entries and stories it breaks my heart and relives the pain of how I used to feel how I was so hopeless and my heart was so broken …. I think I continue to live with a broken heart but more so in that humanity could be so cruel - I actually was a perfect specimen for the narc freak because I thought most people were like me … I sheltered myself from reality … even though my childhood was quite dysfunctional I still thought people did not mean to destroy each other it was just that they could not help themselves and that was normal behaviour ..the mental and physical abuse that went on while drinking was just caused from the drinking because the next day things were all better and it just never happened ...it was all a dream and it was a bad dream that was gone … just like the narc turned out to be. Make a plan and stick to it … make sure if you need to get away from the situation that you work towards the day when you can walk away from them… move away .. get a new job… or just do not care what is going on in their phoney little worlds … but make a plan and know it is possible be true to you … love yourself… we have all done shit every one of us … deal with it and move on … and don't repeat your actions be strong … and most importantly find a passion that you love to replace the emptiness that you had inside that we felt in order to have fallen for their lies.. and this is my hope for you …

Aug 23 - 5AM
Luv2bme
Luv2bme's picture

Reality..,

Aug 22 - 2PM
aurora
aurora's picture

thanks for sharing

Aug 21 - 7PM
Julialouisa
Julialouisa's picture

Replace emptiness

Aug 21 - 5PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

This is a great Buzz! Hunter

Aug 22 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
spinning
spinning's picture

Ditto, big time, toomuch...

spinning

Aug 22 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
toomuch
toomuch's picture

Thank you